Outdated and anti-feminist!
I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

I bought this book as both someone working in the field, and someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This book was written in the 80's and is very outdated to begin with. What really got to me, however, is the way things were phrased. First, it links sexual orientation with a patient having an unstable self-identity. Personally, I am a lesbian and that is quite stable and has been for the past 10 years (I am 24 years old). It also links sexual orientation with sexual deviance. Enough said. Next, it mentions that a reason BPD is becoming more prevalent is because of women's changing roles: juggling home and career. That would be fine to say if it wasn't for the authors coming off like this is a problem in society, that women are in the workforce now. Perhaps the authors meant it differently, but to me, it said that women should be in the home and men should be at work. Overall, as someone who already had a background in this disorder both personally and professionally, I did not find the book useful. I have bought their second book, "Sometimes I Act Crazy," which I am hoping is more up-to-date and less biased.

Helped some
I was told I had BPD at a young age but didn't really understand what that meant..Borderline of what I kept asking but still never got a good answer. I came across this book and it was my life summed up. It helped me understand what I was doing and how to deal with it for the most part.
The end was a little dry but I felt better just knowing I was not the only person with BPD.

In need of updating
I have some borderline traits, and this book came highly recomended to me. I wasn't impressed at all. First, it simply needs updating to include newer medications and treatment options. That was a big thing that I noticed. The other major problem that I had with the book is that it seems much more geared towards people who know someone with BPD and not people who have (or think they may have) BPD. I walked away from the book feeling like I hadn't learned anything useful that could help me understand and work towards overcoming my extreme anger issues. Fortunatley, this is my second BPD book to read, so I did not walk away from it thinking there was no hope. The first book I read was "Get Me Out of Here", an autobiographical book from a BPD sufferer, Rachel Reiland. I would definitely recommend her book over this one.

borderline at best
this book is dated (published in 1989 a lot can happen in 20 years), and heavy on annecdotal recollections. for every nugget of useful information/advise, there are two or three examples of borderlines in action. these "war stories" do not offer much in the way of advice or coping options. anyone who has been in a relationship with a BPD (marriage/divorce, professional, friendship, etc.) knows the drill. I agree with the reviewer who advises "don't make this your first BPD book". the book has value, but I found the helpful parts few and far between. put this fourth on fifth on your reading list.

I hate you - don't leave me: what a sense of relief
Our family has come in contact with this disorder and nobody had a clue what was going on. The title alone drew me in because it related so closely to what I have been witnessing. Within the first three chapters, I almost wore out my highlighter. So much was similar to our situation that I was flabbergasted! I have a lot more to research on the subject, but this was a good start.

I definitely recommend!